I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
