No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Blood and glitter go together right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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