We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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