Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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