I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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