i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So vagazzling was a success
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