Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
