Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
