Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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