So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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