I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
The cops high fived after they tackled you
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
