Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
