Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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