Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
