Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
