I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Vodka?
Forever.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
