Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize