Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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