Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
