I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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