i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
