this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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