mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
