you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
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her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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