all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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