soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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