I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize