I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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