maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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