apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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