i think i have two assholes
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
