He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
