How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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