dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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