Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
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the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
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