The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
