He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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