Yo dont text me then not text me
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
