Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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