dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
