im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
