Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
