So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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