she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
