She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
