Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome