i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.