I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit