the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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