I just pynch a tree in the face
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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