I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
