Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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