I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
