it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
