I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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