Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She said her name was "party"
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
