I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize