I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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