i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
