Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
